Breastfeeding is one of the most beautiful and rewarding experiences of motherhood, but it can also be one of the most challenging.
Growing up in Germany, I honestly thought breastfeeding was just something women naturally did with ease. There was no hiding in bathrooms, no awkwardness about nursing in public, and no mom-shaming attached to it. Women breastfed in parks, restaurants, cafés, and even breastfeeding groups meeting at coffee shops were completely normal. It was simply viewed as one of the most natural parts of motherhood.
So when I became a mom myself, I was completely blindsided by how hard breastfeeding could actually be.
I still remember being in the hospital after having my daughter, exhausted and emotional, when a nurse looked at me struggling and told me, “Maybe you just weren’t made for this.”
That comment crushed me in the moment.
But thankfully, she was wrong.
I went on to breastfeed both of my children until they were three years old, and while it became one of the most rewarding parts of motherhood for me, it was also one of the hardest things I have ever done.
Whether you’re a first-time mom or a seasoned pro, there may come a time when you need a little extra help and support with breastfeeding, and there’s absolutely no shame in that.
In this post, I’m sharing my knowledge and experience to help you know when you should seek breastfeeding support and where you can find it. As I said, this is my knowledge and experience, so if you have questions about your own breastfeeding journey, scroll down to “Where to Find Breastfeeding Support” and connect with a professional in YOUR area!
When to Seek Breastfeeding Support | The first few days after birth
The first few days after birth can be an overwhelming time for new moms, and this is often when breastfeeding feels the hardest.
I think many of us grow up seeing breastfeeding portrayed in movies or on social media as this peaceful, magical bonding moment where the baby latches perfectly, and everyone smiles lovingly at each other.
Reality can look very different.
For me, those early days were painful, emotional, and honestly shocking. Nobody warned me about cracked nipples, blisters, engorgement, or the emotional toll of feeling like your body suddenly belongs to everyone else. My daughter had a VERY strong suck (moms who know… know 😅), and I quickly discovered breastfeeding was not nearly as effortless as I thought it would be.
In these early days, it’s common for both mom and baby to be learning the ropes and adjusting to the new experience of breastfeeding.
If you’re experiencing:
- Difficulty latching your baby
- Potential low milk supply
- Or you think your baby isn’t getting enough milk…
Don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Experts can help you with positioning, latch techniques, and tips to make breastfeeding more successful and comfortable.
Support early on can often prevent bigger breastfeeding challenges later, so don’t wait until you’re completely overwhelmed to ask for help.
If you experience pain or discomfort while breastfeeding
While some mild discomfort can happen in the beginning, ongoing or severe pain is usually a sign that something isn’t quite right.
I personally dealt with oversupply, and it was incredibly painful. I became so engorged at times that I remember standing in my kitchen desperately putting cabbage leaves in my bra because another mom swore it would help.
Oddly enough… it actually did.
I also developed painful blisters and soreness while nursing my daughter, and there were definitely moments where I questioned if I could keep going.
If you’re experiencing pain, soreness, or discomfort while breastfeeding, it’s time to seek support. A lactation consultant or healthcare provider can assess your baby’s latch, positioning, and feeding patterns to help improve your comfort.
There is no award for suffering through breastfeeding alone.
The emotional toll of painful breastfeeding can be enormous, especially when you already feel exhausted and overwhelmed as a new mom. Getting support sooner rather than later can make a world of difference.
If your baby isn’t gaining weight or is losing weight
If your baby isn’t gaining weight or is continuing to lose weight after those first few days, it may be time to seek breastfeeding support.
While weight fluctuations are common in newborns, ongoing concerns deserve attention and support from a professional.
And please hear this: needing help does NOT mean you’re failing.
Sometimes babies need latch adjustments.
Sometimes moms need feeding support.
Sometimes there are supply concerns.
And sometimes both mom and baby simply need more time and guidance to figure things out together.
That’s normal.
If you’re struggling with milk supply
One thing I learned during my breastfeeding journey is that supply struggles can go both ways.
Some moms struggle with low supply, while others, like me, struggle with oversupply.
With my daughter, I produced far more milk than I expected, which sounds great in theory, but it came with painful engorgement, leaking, clogged ducts, and the constant stress of pumping.
And let me tell you: I absolutely hated pumping.
Well… maybe not the pumping itself as much as washing the endless bottles and pump parts afterward.
When I returned to work, pumping became part of my daily life, and then in 2011, after a hurricane knocked our power out, I panicked about losing my entire freezer stash of breast milk.
I drove around my neighborhood searching for houses that still had electricity and knocked on strangers’ doors, asking if they would let me store my milk in their freezer.
One incredibly kind mom emptied out her garage refrigerator for me.
For nearly two weeks, I drove there daily to store my pumped milk so I could continue feeding my daughter while working.
I still think about her kindness all these years later.
That experience reminded me that motherhood truly takes a village.
If you’re worried about your milk supply, whether too little or too much, don’t hesitate to seek support from a lactation consultant or healthcare provider. There are so many ways professionals can help you troubleshoot and make feeding more manageable.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed about breastfeeding
I truly wish someone had told me earlier that simply feeling emotionally overwhelmed was reason enough to seek support.
Breastfeeding can be physically exhausting, emotionally draining, isolating, and all-consuming.
With my first baby, I often felt like nobody talked honestly about how hard it could be.
But with my son, things felt different.
Not necessarily because breastfeeding itself was magically easy the second time around (I still needed those cabbage leaves again!), but because I finally had support.
I joined a breastfeeding support group that connected me with other moms going through the exact same struggles and emotions. That group gave me encouragement, reassurance, friendship, and the reminder that I wasn’t alone.
It made ALL the difference.
I also had the opportunity to give back in a way I never expected. I connected with a mother from New York City who had survived breast cancer and was unable to breastfeed her baby. Because I had an oversupply, I pumped extra milk for her baby as well, and she would come pick it up weekly.
What once felt like one of my biggest struggles became a way to help another mother feed her child.
That experience stayed with me forever.
If you’re feeling stressed, anxious, emotional, or overwhelmed when it comes to breastfeeding, please know that support exists, and you do not have to do this alone.
Where to Find Breastfeeding Support
There are so many resources available both online and in person for moms seeking breastfeeding support.
And honestly, finding support was one of the biggest turning points in my own journey. Once I stopped trying to “figure it all out alone,” everything became so much more manageable.
Here are some of the most common options:
Healthcare provider
Your healthcare provider can be a great resource for breastfeeding support. They can provide guidance on common issues like latching and positioning, as well as refer you to a lactation consultant if necessary.
Pros: Covered by most insurance plans, convenient, reliable.
Cons: Limited appointment time, may not specialize in lactation support.
Lactation consultants or breastfeeding counselors
Lactation consultants are highly trained professionals who provide one-on-one support to help overcome breastfeeding challenges.
Pros: Highly specialized, personalized support, reliable.
Cons: Can be costly and may not always be covered by insurance in the US.
La Leche League
La Leche League International provides breastfeeding education and support to moms around the world through meetings, online forums, and support resources.
Pros: Free or low-cost, supportive community, reliable information.
Cons: May not be available everywhere or feel as personalized.
Online breastfeeding communities and forums
Online communities can be incredibly helpful for encouragement and connection, especially during those middle-of-the-night feeds when you feel like you’re the only awake person in the world.
Pros: Convenient, accessible 24/7, free.
Cons: Advice may vary in quality, so always double-check medical concerns with professionals.
Breastfeeding support groups
I cannot recommend local support groups enough.
The breastfeeding support group I joined after having my son introduced me to new mom friends, emotional support, and reassurance during a season of motherhood that can feel very lonely.
Sometimes just hearing another mom say “me too” changes everything. Check out Yale for your moms group and support classes!
Pros: Supportive community, affordable or free, encouragement from moms in the same stage.
Cons: Availability varies by area.
Friends and family members with breastfeeding experience
Never underestimate the value of another mom who has simply been there before.
Sometimes practical tips, emotional reassurance, or even hearing “you’re doing great” from another mother can carry you through the hardest days.
Conclusion
Remember, there is absolutely no shame in asking for help when it comes to breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding may be natural, but that does not mean it always comes naturally.
Whether your journey lasts two days, two months, or two years, you deserve support, encouragement, and compassion along the way.
And if there’s one thing motherhood taught me, it’s this:
No mom is meant to do this alone.
If you are looking to document your breastfeeding journey, do not hesitate to reach out to us. We love to be part of it.
